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Saturday, May 22, 2010

And So A New Chapter Begins...

Hello FP Friends and Family...

This week marks the end of an era and the beginning of a new chapter in my life. My family experienced the loss of my maternal grandmother, Winifred Bush. She had been in failing health for quite some time and this past Sunday, May 16, she lost the fight against pneumonia, Hodgkin's lymphoma, diabetes, and a host of other diseases and ailments. She was in her 80's. My Gpa Bush passed away back in 2005, and his loss was equally difficult to accept, and my Gma's passing seemed to bring back a lot of those feelings of grief from when Gpa died. So it was like a double dose of emotional and mental struggles to cope with knowing that my life will now go on without my grandparents. To some folks this may not seem such a big deal, but I was fortunate enough to be very close and connected to both Gpa and Gma Bush for my entire life thus far, and it goes without saying that the bulk of who I am stems directly from their influence on my life. Of all the men in my life, Gpa Bush ranks the highest in my mind as who I aspire to be like. And of all the women in my life, Gma was equally as significant as my own mother. Both Gpa and Gma played a fundamental role in raising me and I look to their example the most when it comes to how to live out my life. To know me is to also indirectly see a reflection of my Gpa and Gma Bush, and though I am 100% my own person, there isn't a day that goes by where I haven't based at least some decisions on the basis of 'What would Gma and Gpa Bush do?'

Consequently this has been a very tough week of mourning and laughter, memories of the past and dreams for the future. On a positive note, both of my grandparents made decisions to ask Jesus Christ into their hearts, each within a week prior to their passing. And so I do anticipate seeing them again when my time comes, but until that day arrives I hope to live a full and honest life that would honor the heritage that they afforded me.

And so their passing is bittersweet, as is the end of the era of having Gpa and Gma Bush in my life. At times I feel lost and afraid as to how I will continue on from this point, almost as if I were a nine year old child. But this week part of me also realized once again that God's timing is perfect for all things, including those times of great loss and uncertainty. And though part of me wishes they were still here on earth with me, I also envy them in knowing that they are now in a much better place where there are no tears, no diseases or dying, and no evil or sin to soil our very souls. And so may God rest their souls...

~ Todd

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